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Miss Manners: How do we address guests using their own ‘flushable’ wipes?

David Robinson
Reporter · Tuesday, November 3, 2026 at 2:00 PM · 5 min read
A cozy living room during a holiday gathering with family and friends.

In the cozy living room of their modest Lancaster home, Sarah and Tom Johnson share a light-hearted moment with family and friends. The smell of roasted turkey wafts through the air, mingling with the laughter of children playing in the corner. As the evening progresses, a familiar topic arises, one that brings both humor and a hint of discomfort: the use of ‘flushable’ wipes by some guests. It’s a situation many hosts can relate to, and it opens the door to a conversation about etiquette, understanding, and the importance of maintaining family bonds.

What Happened

Sarah and Tom, who have been married for over a decade, have always prided themselves on creating a welcoming environment for their loved ones. Their home has become a gathering place for the holidays, where family traditions are celebrated, and memories are made. However, a recent experience left them pondering how to address a growing trend among their guests: the use of flushable wipes.

During a recent Thanksgiving dinner, one of their close friends, Julie, brought along her own ‘flushable’ wipes, which she used in the bathroom. This seemingly innocuous act sparked a discussion among the guests about the appropriateness of such items in someone else's home. While some found it practical, others felt it was a breach of etiquette.

Miss Manners, a well-known etiquette expert, weighs in on this topic, suggesting that hosts should address the issue with grace and tact. It’s essential to communicate clearly but kindly, ensuring that guests understand the potential plumbing issues that can arise from flushing wipes, even if they are labeled as 'flushable.'

Understanding the Etiquette

Etiquette is not merely about following rules; it’s about fostering respect and understanding among friends and family. In a world where personal preferences can sometimes clash, hosts like Sarah and Tom must navigate these waters carefully. Miss Manners emphasizes the importance of having a conversation about bathroom etiquette before it becomes a point of contention.

“It’s perfectly acceptable to express your preferences as a host,” Miss Manners advises. “A simple note in the bathroom, or a gentle reminder during a gathering, can go a long way in maintaining harmony.” This approach not only addresses the issue at hand but also reinforces the bond of trust and respect within the group.

Creating a Comfortable Environment

For Sarah and Tom, creating a comfortable environment for their guests is paramount. They believe that open communication is key to ensuring everyone feels at home. By setting clear expectations, they can help avoid any awkward situations in the future.

“We want our guests to feel relaxed and welcome,” Sarah shares. “But we also want to protect our home and plumbing. It’s a delicate balance.” This sentiment resonates with many hosts in Lancaster, where community ties are strong, and gatherings are cherished.

Community Reactions

The Johnsons are not alone in their concerns. A recent survey conducted by the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce revealed that nearly 60% of local residents have encountered similar situations while hosting gatherings. Many expressed a desire for more guidance on how to handle such matters gracefully.

Local resident, Mark Thompson, shared his thoughts: “I think it’s important to communicate these things. We all want to be considerate, but sometimes we just don’t know what’s appropriate.” This sentiment reflects a growing awareness among Lancaster residents about the importance of etiquette in maintaining strong relationships.

Voices from the Community

The discussions around bathroom etiquette are not limited to the Johnsons’ gatherings. At the Lancaster Community Center, a recent workshop on hosting etiquette drew a crowd of local residents eager to learn more about navigating these delicate situations. Participants shared their own stories, highlighting the commonality of the issue.

One attendee, Ellen Martinez, noted, “I had no idea that flushable wipes could cause such problems! It’s good to know we can talk about these things openly.” The workshop facilitator, a local etiquette coach, emphasized the importance of communication and respect in fostering a community that values consideration and kindness.

Finding Solutions Together

As the conversation around bathroom etiquette continues, Sarah and Tom are exploring ways to address the issue without causing discomfort. They have considered placing a friendly sign in their bathroom, gently reminding guests not to flush wipes. This simple gesture can help educate guests while still making them feel welcome.

“We want to be upfront without being rude,” Tom explains. “It’s all about how you present it.” The couple is also considering discussing the topic openly with their close friends, fostering an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their preferences and concerns.

Building a Culture of Respect

In Lancaster, the value of community and family is paramount. As residents navigate the complexities of modern life, fostering a culture of respect and understanding becomes increasingly important. By addressing issues like bathroom etiquette, families can strengthen their bonds and create a more harmonious environment.

“It’s about more than just wipes,” Sarah reflects. “It’s about respect, communication, and understanding each other’s needs.” This perspective encourages families to engage in open dialogue, ensuring that everyone feels valued and heard.

What’s Next for the Johnsons

Looking ahead, Sarah and Tom are committed to fostering a welcoming atmosphere in their home while addressing the nuances of modern etiquette. They plan to implement their ideas for gentle reminders and open discussions, aiming to create a space where everyone feels comfortable.

“We want our home to be a place where everyone feels at ease,” Tom emphasizes. “But we also want to protect our home and our relationships.” Their commitment to maintaining a strong family foundation reflects the values held by many in Lancaster.

Engaging with Local Resources

As they prepare for their next gathering, the Johnsons are considering leveraging local resources to facilitate discussions about etiquette. They plan to invite a local etiquette expert to speak at their next family gathering, providing an opportunity for everyone to learn in a relaxed environment. This initiative not only addresses the immediate concern but also fosters a culture of continuous learning and respect within their social circle.

Furthermore, they are exploring partnerships with local businesses, such as restaurants and event planners, to create community workshops that address various aspects of modern etiquette. By collaborating with these entities, they hope to extend the conversation beyond their home and into the broader Lancaster community.

As the Johnsons prepare for their next gathering, they are hopeful that their efforts will lead to more open conversations about etiquette and respect. By addressing these topics head-on, they aim to build stronger connections within their community, ensuring that their gatherings remain joyful and harmonious.

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